I ain't anal about it!

Comedians become world famous and then start sharing their writing process. I am reversing the sequence. Welcome to the world of my tools for writing standup!

Pen

I’ve tried a ton of pens over the years, and I know when I’ve found my perfect one. It’s when I use it from full ink to dry ink! So far, I’ve only found 3 pens that have made it through this test:

1. There was a time when I took an office at WeWork for 2 years (Don’t ask me why; it was probably just a corporate hangover). They had a normal pen that they doled out for free —the WeWork Pen— and I used it to write 3 solo shows! Even after I left WeWork, I would still go there and ask them to give me that pen. I stopped when they started giving me weird looks!

2. Then I stumbled upon Muji 0.7mm Black. Back in the day, I had a bit of a Muji obsession, where I bought every stationary item from them. But the only thing I used consistently was the pen. It’s my absolute favorite pen!

3. Last year before I started writing Spoiler Alert, I did extensive research on pens (I have a lot of free time). I came across this video of Jerry Seinfeld where he spoke about BIC Cristal, Medium Point (1.0mm), Black - the only pen he has used in his career. I bought 12 of them because for me whatever Jerry says is gospel truth. I used one. Let’s just say not everything that Jerry says……

4. My reserach continued and I stumbled on a New York Times article on the best pens of 2024 (apparently they also have a lot of free time!). Uniball Jetstream 1.0 mm Black was the top pick! I wrote Spoiler Alert with it. Its a good pen. It is a great friend but not a soulmate.

I think I’ll go back to Muji. I am sure Japanese have a saying - Ichido muinryōhin o kau to, zutto muinryōhindesu - which translates to - Once a Muji, always a Muji!

Notebooks

My absolute favorite topic! I am in love with notebooks. If I love you, I would probably gift you a notebook.

When I first started standup, I didn’t care much about notebooks. I’d buy anything that looked decent! But over time, that changed. Though, I love the idea of a crazy writer scribbling down ideas on paper napkins! I needed notebooks. And notebooks got me!

My fascination started with Factor Notes. I bought one and then got hooked on to them. Wrote my special Ek Haseena Thi on those. I was convinced that I’d be using Factor Notes for the rest of my life.

Then a friend gifted Leuchtturm 1917 to me. As soon as I got it, I knew it was a top-notch notebook. I tried writing a few pages in it, but I was so careful not to ruin it with rough notes! I even took my time with the handwriting and spacing. Wrote 4 pages and then ended up saving it for some epic literary masterpiece (in my head) and went back to notebooks that civilians use. ;-)

Recently, I read a book - “The Notebook - a history of thinkking on paper” which mentioned Moleskine and Leuchtturm 1917 as cults in the world of notebooks! I did not know this! I was also like - “Hey I possess a Leuchtturm 1917”. I wanted a Moleskine too! The very best tools have to be acquired. So I bought a Moleskine Classic recently. Same problem - finding it very difficult to spoil it with random writing.

I carry both with me now, and my goal in 2025 is to spoil (read-use) them! As you can see, I have big goals in life. But you’d know if only you had one of these— it takes a lot of courage to write on them!

Software

All my standups are written in Apple Pages. I am a MacBook fan (sorry Microsoft). It’s just the aesthetics. Pure premium. There is no other way to put it

Apple Pages is minimalist, free from distractions and unnecessary features. It’s not cluttered and looks neat. When in full-screen mode, you can see only the page and the necessary edit features on the right, which is the focus I need for writing.

I also use Apple Notes extensively to document my progress, jot down random thoughts, and keep all my discarded writing ideas in one place. Revisiting these discarded notes later, is like going through a toy store of ideas (something I recently discovered while writing Spoiler Alert)

Printout Paper

Really!! Seriously Anshu! You want to be so anal about this also!

I am sorry. This is my world.

I was once watching a Masterclass by Steve Martin. He was holding a paper printout that looked so premium. It wasn’t flapping around like a tube man outside a restaurant. That’s when I first understood what GSM means in the paper industry!

A key part of my standup writing process is editing a printout of a set - comments, delivery tips & new ideas. It’s a critical part in my process - I find at least 15-20% of new jokes come from this process. It’s so important that it has to be taken out on a quality paper - my fav is PaperOne A4 Printing Paper (100 GSM). It’s thicker than the regular paper and it holds the form.

Who would have thought that a 100 GSM paper would also teach me Emotional Regulation? Like, the control I display when my wife uses that high-quality 100 GSM paper to write a note to the gate security, allowing our domestic help to take something!

Coffee Shop

It’s a tool.

I require absolute consistency in my writing routine - and when I say absolute, I mean it to the letter! My coffee shop ritual has to be the same time everyday, I must park at the same spot, sit at the same table, drink the same coffee. Hell if I could manifest, I would have the same customers too everyday :)

My favorite place to write for the past 2 years has been For Earth’s Sake on Golf Course Road. A big shoutout to them! It’s the perfect spot to sit and write. I wrote Clarity there, and now, Spoiler Alert.

Music

I mostly use the Background Sounds feature on iPhone - AirPods On and Rain sound. Over the course of writing a special - I normally get hooked to certain songs too. They might or might not have a relation to what I am writing but somehow I write better when these songs are playing. And then I play them on loop through the months - Here is my Spoiler Alert playlist -https://music.apple.com/in/playlist/spoiler-alert-standup-special/pl.u-479GseA5Z4J

One of the great philosophers of the 21st century, Anshu Mor, once said - Shigoto o aisuruhito wa tsūru mo aisuru

Love & hugs

A