I'm dying up here!

I should not be sharing this but hey ...why not?

Last night was the biggest bombing I have had at a show in my standup comedy career. It happened at a corporate show.

I had 2 back-to-back shows at an automobile company’s annual conference - Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday's show went decent. Not great, just decent. So I was all pumped up to deliver a great one on Wednesday.

Here is what happened on Wednesday

An hour before the show, the client sent a note to my manager stating discomfort with some of the material I did on Tuesday. Now mind you - there were no jokes on religion, politics or sex. All clean material appropriate for corporate set-up. But they had gotten offended because I cracked jokes on corporate bosses and age!

If you get offended by these jokes also, then I suggest not to call a comedian. Organize Satyanarayan ki katha!

I got a little irritated with that feedback but I knew it only came from a few in top leadership. The rest of the audience was cool. Regardless, I decided to change the set list 45 minutes before the show. It was not ideal as I had to pick old bits that I had not performed in ages - husband, wife and son jokes!

Hey! I built a 45 million YouTube audience with those jokes! What could go wrong?

I walked into the venue and like a boss told the sound team - “Yesterday, I was not happy with the mic sound. Please fix it!” They did!

My name was announced - I walked on stage and I landed the first joke in 8 seconds - the audience laughed! Great start Mor!

So I threw in another one-liner joke - it has worked 99.99% of the time. Last night was the 00.01%. They didn’t laugh!

“Hmmm! What was that about? Move on Mor. It’s ok! You will get them!”

So I started my first bit - an old fav of mine. Out of practice on that one, I missed saying the first line of that bit! That first line sets the context of the bit. I started with Line 2! It made no sense! So out of nowhere, I brought Line 1 back in. That made it worse! The audience sensed it.

Audiences have a unique ability to sense your discomfort. Then they act like one giant organism who has found delicious prey!

The margin of error in comedy is wafer-thin. The mood had suddenly shifted! 5 minutes in and I was struggling! So like a genius, I decided to cut short that bit and move on to the next! The problem was there was no part where that cut would look smooth. So I just dropped it as my ex dropped me - like I meant nothing!

Oh boy! That soul-crushing, ego-crushing feeling, when you see the audience looking away or at their phone.

“We are no longer interested”.

Now I am a professional comedian. I have done more than 1000 shows. I am trained for this. I have brought back dead rooms to life. But for some reason yesterday was not my night!

There are nights when you are for everyone and there are nights when you’re not for anyone.

After that, it just fell apart on stage. Like in every aspect - flow, delivery, quality! Not one joke landed. Nobody laughed after that. I wanted it to stop but the timer was saying otherwise. I had to finish my 20 mins!

When I came out of the venue, I should have been devastated! But instead, I burst out laughing. You know that feeling na - when it’s so bad that it becomes funny!

All I could think of was me (before the show) telling the sound guys with full attitude to fix the mic setting! “Sound issues nahin hone chahiye”

Woh kya soch rahe honge ab?

I sat in my car and called up my good friend and fellow comedian Anu Menon (famously known as Lola Kutty). I told her I bombed. Like a true friend, she laughed out loud! I didn’t mind it. It was the first real laugh I got in the entire evening.

After I was done ranting, this is how that conversation ended:

Anu: What do you think Monica will say about this bombing?

Me: Monica will say ‘It’s ok, forget about it’. She will not understand the pain na. She is not a comedian!

Anu: Apparently, tonight, neither are you

Boom! Roasted!

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PS: I’m performing my solo show Clarity in Bangalore on 30 Mar. It will be a killer show! (confidence dekho!) If you are in Bangalore get your tickets at https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/clarity-by-anshu-mor/ET00384813

If not, please tell your friends about it in Bangalore.