Road To...

Excerpt from my WIP book

1982: Mr. Bachchan & George Michael

Whenever I think about my childhood, the first image that pops into my mind is of my friend and me perched on my dad’s white scooter outside our house in Delhi.

I am narrating the story of an Amitabh Bachchan movie that we had watched as a family the previous day—Mr. Natwarlal.

Back in 1982, not everybody got to see a movie in a theatre. Frankly, we didn't even go very often. But this was Amitabh Bachchan. He possessed the charisma to unite a family to hit the theatres!

I'm excitedly telling him about the song that Amitabh Bachchan himself sang!

‘Can you believe it? He sings too! What a hero!’

‘But they all sing, don’t they?’

My friend clearly did not understand that showbiz isn’t what it appears to be.

The song I am referring to is ‘Mere Paas Aao’ - a song in which Amitabh Bachchan narrates a funny story to a group of children, while Rekha, with a smile on her face, gradually falls in love with him.

The 4 most beautiful things in the world all rolled into one: Comedy, Storytelling, Music, and the Beginning of Romance.

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The second image that pops into my mind is of me, a 16-year-old, standing on my bed, pretending to be a rockstar!

Holding a hockey stick as a microphone and lip-syncing to the George Michael song “Faith”.

I did not know back then that he was gay. I have nothing against gays. I’m simply stating that I wasn’t informed about this, nor was the world. However, this revelation would not have altered anything. He was our idol!

And this is how it would go….

There are 2,000 people in the audience. They are seated between my bed and my study table, just two feet away. However, I am performing for just one person - a girl seated in the 3rd row. She is my imaginary girlfriend, with whom I had an imaginary breakup. She is at the concert, completely unaware that I am performing.

(I would, at this point, request you to play this song on your phone to get the real feel of my imaginary concert!)

The song starts with my back turned towards the audience. A dimly lit stage, with only a spotlight on me. The opening organ piece starts playing As the opening guitar solo approaches, I turn towards the crowd, causing them to erupt in excitement. My imaginary girlfriend is shocked AF!

Immediate regret on her face “I shouldn’t have broken up with him’.

I ignore my ex throughout the performance. At 2 minutes 19 seconds into the song, I go to her side of the audience and perform the guitar solo that follows, all while still not looking at her.

When the song ends & the crowd goes hysterical, I give her that blank-open-mouth-silent-rockstar-stare - ‘You shouldn’t have…’

And then I walk off the stage.

Because in my imaginary world, I only did one-song concerts for 2,000 people.

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I was 16 then! I am 52 now.

Things are different. Now I live my life on an actual stage. I’m also quite certain that if I’m doing a solo show now, I’d put my name and picture on the poster. So, the probability of any of my exes accidentally attending my show is zero. Also, I am married so maybe I should not be talking about my exes so much!

It has been 8 years of doing standup comedy. I am decently famous. I can fill up 300 - 500 seater rooms across major cities in India. I have half a million followers and 50 million views on my YouTube channel. People recognise me on the streets often. Although, at this very moment, I’m sitting at a Starbucks in Cyber Hub, Gurgaon, and out of the 11 other people here, not a single one seems to recognise me.

My Vision Board reads: Perform for a sold-out audience at the Royal Albert Hall in London.

The maximum number of tickets I have sold for a single solo show so far: 518.

Seating capacity of Royal Albert Hall: 5,272

And that, dear reader, is what this book is about. One part of the story is about what led me to this moment, while another part is about what will lead me to the Royal Albert Hall in London.

Welcome to the ride of my life!

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This is an excerpt from the book that I am in the process of writing. If you liked what you read. Please drop a comment :)